I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
