Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
