remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She told me I should be a condom model.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
