if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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