My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
