I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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