ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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