Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
