gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
