Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
