I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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