so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
