i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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