I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
