Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
