Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
