I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
