I didn't shave. On purpose
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
