Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
