She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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