Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My liver just had a heart attack.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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