Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
