How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Damn victory sex feels great
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
