the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
