I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
