i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
