Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i came on her dog
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
