If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
