Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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