Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
