i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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