I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Be still, my beating vagina.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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