yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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