I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
