38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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