whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
