You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
