She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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