Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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