we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
