I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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