I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
