You work out of a Hotel?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
