3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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