My liver just broke up with me...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
