I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
