Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
