Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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