Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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