My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
This toilet bowl is my home.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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