I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
